Saturday, September 4

A.W. Tozer

Favorite quotes from Aiden Wilson Tozer, author of Pursuit of God...

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.

One of the most stinging criticisms made against Christians is that their minds are narrow and their hearts small.

We must do something about the cross... flee it or die upon it.

God may allow His servant to succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need to succeed to be happy.

Refuse to be average. Let your heart soar as high as it will.

Man is bored because he is too big to be happy with that which sin is giving him. God has made him too great, his potential too mighty.

Whatever a man wants persistently enough will determine his character.

Our pursuit of God is successful because He is forever seeking to manifest Himself to us.

Modern civilization is so complex as to make the devotional life all but impossible. It wears us out by multiplying distractions and beats us down by destroying our solitude, where otherwise we might drink and renew our strength before going out to face the world again.

To be right with God has often meant to be in trouble with men.

Let a man set his heart only on doing the will of God and he is instantly free. No one can hinder him.

An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others.

Faith, as Paul saw it, was a living, flaming thing leading to surrender and obedience to the commandments of Christ.

If God gives you a watch, are you honoring Him more by asking Him what time it is or by simply consulting the watch?

In almost everything that touches our everyday life on earth, God is pleased when we're pleased. He wills that we be as free as birds to soar and sing our maker's praise without anxiety.

Complacency is the deadly enemy of spiritual progress. The contented soul is the stagnant soul.

No man should desire to be happy who is not at the same time holy. He should spend his efforts in seeking to know and do the will of God, leaving to Christ the matter of how happy he should be.

The vague and tenuous hope that God is too kind to punish the ungodly has become a deadly opiate for the consciences of millions.

If there's anything necessary to your eternal happiness but God, you're not the kind of Christian that you ought to be.

The devil is a better theologian than any of us and is a devil still.

The Word of God well understood and religiously obeyed is the shortest route to spiritual perfection. And we must not select a few favorite passages to the exclusion of others. Nothing less than a whole Bible can make a whole Christian.

Faith never means gullibility. The man who believes everything is as far from God as the man who refuses to believe anything.

The only fear I have is to fear to get out of the will of God. Outside of the will of God, there's nothing I want, and in the will of God there's nothing I fear.

Men who refuse to worship the true God now worship themselves with tender devotion.

The Bible recognizes no faith that does not lead to obedience, nor does it recognize any obedience that does not spring from faith.

The man or woman who is wholly or joyously surrendered to Christ can't make a wrong choice. Any choice will be the right one.

Christianity takes for granted the absence of any self-help and offers a power which is nothing less than the power of God.

Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image.

Truth is a glorious but hard mistress. She never consults, bargains or compromises.

Every man is as holy as he really wants to be.

Thursday, September 2

Puntastic

Fred Allen: "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."

Ambrose Bierce: "A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire."

James Boswell: "Among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation."

Anthony Burgess: "Plurality of reference is in the very nature of language, and its management and exploitation is one of the joys of writing."

Samuel Taylor Coleridge: "May be the lowest, but is the most harmless kind of wit, because it never excites envy."

John Dryden: "To torture one poor word ten thousand ways."

Henry Erskine: "It is the very lowest form, and therefore the foundation of all wit."

Oliver Wendell Holmes: "There is no such thing as a female punster." [Ahem... I beg to differ.]

Victor Hugo: "Le calembour est la fiente de l'esprit qui vole."

Samuel Johnson: "If I were punished for every pun I shed, there would not be left a puny shred of my punnish head."

Charles Lamb: "It fills the mind, it is as perfect as a sonnet... better."

Leonard L. Levinson: "A joke based on the infirmities of language."

Christopher Morley: "Language on vacation."

Edgar Allen Poe: "Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them." Also: "The goodness of the true pun is in direct ratio to its intolerability."

Sydney Smith: "The wit of words. They are exactly the same to words which wit is to ideas, and consist in the sudden discovery of relations in language."

Jonathan Swift: "A talent which no man effects to despise, but he that is without it."

Louis Untermeyer: "Something every person belittles and everyone attempts."

Wednesday, September 1

Groaners

Why are puns my hands-down favorite form of humor?

For the following reasons... They're often harmless, and therefore appeal to a wide audience. I'm a bonafide logophile - I love words. Being the cause of widespread groaning just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Top ten from my collection:

1. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.

2. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist, and refused to take novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

3. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. After an hour of this, the hotel manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

4. The mushroom complained that couldn't get a date, "I don't know why the girls don't like me... I'm such a fungi!"

5. During a recent disaster at a major university, a team of scientists were cloning monkeys when one of them blew up. The researchers are now trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the Rhesus' pieces.

6. Once upon a time, two brooms fell in love and decided to get married. Before the ceremony, the bride-broom informed the groom-broom that she was expecting a little whisk-broom. The groom-broom was aghast! "How is this possible?" he asked. "We never even swept together!"

7. Glancing over at the speeding the car, a highway patrolman was astounded to see a driver busy knitting. The trooper turned on his flashing lights and yelled to the driver, "PULL OVER!" In response the driver smiled yelled back, "NO! ...SCARF!"

8. Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally...

10. There was a girl who listed ten puns in a blog, in the hope that one of them would make her friends laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did!

Tuesday, August 31

Andrearama

Ah yes, the only female that I count among my small group of friends. Of course, I avoid situations where I could meet others... I've had more than my share of bad experience with the rest of my gender.

Nevertheless, Andrea is pretty amazing... Somehow an expert in nearly everything, she fits more than 24 hours into every single day. A powerhouse, I'll never unravel how she does it all so well.

For my birthday she gave me this fantabulous gift... A fun little poem that made me smile, and I figured I'd share it with y'all. Enjoy!

When I think of Kiki
An image of LAUGHTER comes to mind
Playfulness, joking, and a sharing of time
Someone who is caring, loving and thoughtful
She is funny, sassy, and oh so bratty
One of the liveliest of sorts

When I think of Kiki
An image of PINK comes to mind
Someone who loves it, wears it,
Accessorizes with it ...You name it!
She is fashionable, sleek, stylish, and chic
One of the Barbie-est of girls

When I think of Kiki
An image of KAREN comes to mind
A swipe of the card from breast to behind
Denied... Denied... Approved!
One of the feistiest of kinds

When I think of Kiki
An image of FRIENDSHIP comes to mind
Playful, personable, and perfectly friendly
Honest and real, she gives from the heart
Light-hearted, good-natured, and fun
One that I can truly call a friend